headspace | a farewell letter to anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

You’ve been playing mind games with me for the past 4 years now and I am more than done with you. I want you gone…forever.

 

Because of that, I am trying harder than ever to beat you. And eventually, I will. Some days are worse than others and I try to ignore you the best I can, but somehow you always manage to squeeze yourself back in and ruin a good day. I’ve lost sleep over you, spent countless hours crying because of you and made myself sick because of you.

 

But just know that I’m done.

 

Every day I do the best I can to wake up with a smile and enjoy each day’s beauty. Every day I tell myself that I will have a great day and that I have a great life that I am meant to live. Every day it gets a little easier. Yes, I know that I’ll never be perfect, but I’m okay with that. I just don’t want you around anymore. And eventually, you won’t be.

 

I’m done crying.

 

I’m done losing out on sleep.

 

I am done hating myself because of you.

 

And above all, I’m done with you. 

 

I still have no idea why you ever appeared in my life and I probably never will if we’re being honest. But I do know that because of you I am stronger and I now know that I can make it through anything that gets in my way. So I guess a thank you is an order too, because without you haunting me for the past years, I would’ve never became the woman I am today. So thank you, but you’ve overstayed your welcome.

 

Even though sometimes you make me feel weak and brittle, I know eventually the darkness will fade and I will prevail. It may have taken me four years to realise all of this, but now that I have, I’m done giving you the upper hand. I will never stop fighting. The end is near. I know it.

 

So though I know I’m not done fighting you just yet, I guess this is goodbye.

 

And yes it’s a goodbye, not a see you later.

 

Goodbye anxiety, you’ve overstayed your welcome.

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