Okay, okay. I too hope this is the last installment of the wall posts after wall [part two]. But it isn’t. 😅
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Here are some of the tips for how to help a friend with anxiety. I couldn’t emphasise it more – note that every person is different, and each person has different needs. Some people are comfortable to talk out their struggles when some don’t. Even with these do’s and don’ts, it’s a trial and error kind of things.
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- DO let the person know that they can talk to you about it openly, without any fear of judgment. It’s very important that he/she knows that you won’t judge them, change your perception of them for the worst, or get sick of hearing them telling you their fear over and over again. For many, the fears and thoughts are nearly exactly the same each time. Remind them here and again that you’re there for them when they feel like talking it out. Because sometimes they often feel like themselves are a burden to the people around them.
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Art from Pinterest.
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- DON’T get frustrated. Remember, anxiety disorders are not just thought-related. They’re messed up chemical too. Those with anxieties do know that their fears shouldn’t bother them, bust as hard as they try they can’t stop. Expecting them to use logic to control their anxiety is extremely difficult, if not impossible.
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- DO spend time with them as much as possible. You being around them is a bigger help than you realise. In fact, they may not realise it either. But time spent with others is the time that makes it harder to think about their anxieties, and that time really does make a difference.
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- DO ask them how their day is going. This one is a bit tricky. Some people don’t like being asked about their panic attacks or anxiety since it may force them to think about their fear. However, personally, I feel loved and cared for when my friends or family asked me this. Because I won’t bring my anxiety symptoms to my friends unless they ask about it first because I fear that they get bored with me. I’m a very fun person okay. 🙄
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When I’m feeling low, and I don’t feel like talking about it, I would usually go off the radar. It’s a symptom of avoidance. I learnt recently that people are worried about me and some even miss me! 😝 Hehehe. Promise myself to at least let them know that I don’t feel like talking instead of just ghosting them for a week or more. It’s a very good feeling for people with anxiety disorder to know that they matter to in the lives of those they care about. Oh, oh! But, don’t bring the anxiety too often. We are more than our anxiety okay. Hehe. Told ya it’s a tricky one. 😉
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Art from BuzzFeed.com.
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- DO tell them to call you anytime, anywhere. Talking on the phone and knowing someone is there to pick up can actually be incredibly comforting to someone to someone who is trying to control their anxiety. Anxiety can make people feel lost and alone. Knowing that someone is a phone call away reduces that feeling.
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- DON’T let our anxiety affect you as well. PLEASE. That’s the last thing we want. ☹️ If it’s too much for you to handle, let us know. Tell us that you’re dealing with some stuff at the moment, and will get back once you’re feeling better.
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- DO be forgiving. Seriously, God bless your kind soul. 😔 We keep emphasising that anxiety can change the neurochemistry for a reason. Anxiety can make people more sensitive to irritation. It’s not in the control of the person with the anxiety. Ideally, try your best to be forgiving. Let them know that you understand their situation, and it’s not worth quitting the friendship because of it.
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Personally, I’m very worried about the last one. I fear the day when people I love leave me for they’re tired of me. So to the friends and family out there who know me well enough, I apologise if I ever hurt you, bore you, or frustrate you. I’ll get better. I promise. 😊
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