Okay guys, let’s do an Anxiety 101.
Having anxiety disorder, there are two different inner thoughts I hear constantly – mine and my mind’s. When the anxiety hits hard, I struggle to choose which voice I shall listen to, and it doesn’t help that both of the thoughts sound like my own. 🙄
Art by Spencer of heymonster.tumblr.com
The most ANNOYING part is when I start believing the anxious thoughts. It is sooo easy to believe the self-demeaning thoughts when they come from the same brain. Anddd.. It is such a challenge to decipher which thoughts are true, and which thoughts come from the anxiety, excessive worrying, and overanalyzing. It is tiring, to say the least.
In my therapy sessions, we practice on thought replacement exercise to stop the intrusive thoughts pattern that my sneaky, sneaky anxiety 😈 has trained me into over all these years and replace them with kinder, more realistic thoughts.
It. Is. Not. Easy. That, I can tell you. 😅
I keep returning to the following therapy session reporting that I still have those dreary comments my anxiety gave me from the last session, which leads me into thinking that I’m wasting everyone’s effort, time, and money. I feel that I disappoint people around me, and much more than that, I’m disappointed with myself.
It takes a LOT of patience and faith. It is not an easy practice since I am so used to listening and believing those thoughts. There are times when I feel like this attempt to manage my anxiety isn’t going anywhere. It makes me think, “Will it always going to be this way?”.
To be honest guys, I don’t have the answer to that question. At least for now, this is my truth. Anxiety isn’t always bad, but sometimes it can be hard. Everyone has their own struggle, and I guess this is mine.
Anxiety may be odd to people, and that’s okay. It may be hard for others to understand, and that’s okay. Some may not be able to relate to me, and that’s okay. I love myself through this process and I’m learning to be kinder to myself. And that is enough. 😊
p/s My GP back in Australia often told me this, and it kind of stuck in my mind ever since – “Sometimes just being okay is enough.”